Have you ever had that sensation of living a frenetic life, but, for some reason, you are living it with the handbrake on? Or is this you at this exact moment?
The “handbrake on” effect
Personally, I have heard this sentence countless times by friends as well, and, usually, it tends to lead to feeling quite frustrated.
While the reasons could be very different–it could be that you are waiting for the right opportunity to make that big next step in your academic or work path or that you are not feeling as convinced about it as you were when you first chose it–I personally learned that, in these moments of life, it is essential to step out of our perspective, if not the risk is that of overthinking our choices or our next steps.
This article will go exactly in that direction because when overthinking starts, what we wish for, most of the time, is just to put those thoughts in “mute” mode. If not, that “handbrake on” effect could get even worse instead of taking it off!
So, prepare yourself for a journey focused on your self-development which will require training since, as students, we do not really get much guidance on our academic or career choices this is why, many times unfortunately, once we jump into the professional world we are feeling rather unprepared for it.
But do not worry, it won’t be a waste of time. With these tips, which I took from my own experiences, filled with overthinking moments, I hope you’ll be able to face each period of big changes in your life–believe me, there will be more!–with much more ease and, most importantly, less doubts or regrets!
My experience
I have always been pretty reflective–those kinds of people that, sometimes, we look like we are in our own world! As you might imagine, this doesn’t help with overthinking, but fortunately, I have also always been a determined student in a way that, throughout my studies, I just had a few moments of uncertainty between the end of a studying cycle and the next one.
But, while as a student, things looked pretty straightforward, I would soon learn–at the end of my university studies–that changes are actually part of life, and I’d better get used to them.
Something I discovered, which was pretty unexpected for me, was that having a good spirit of adaptation to different places does not make the transition periods in life easier!
In fact, despite being someone who had always loved to travel and had lived in four different countries through studying and work experiences, when I reached that transition moment from the end of my academic career to the start of the professional one, I felt totally uncertain.
I felt like something was missing, but, of course, I did not know what it was.
And, as I’m not a person who likes waiting with her arms crossed, I took advantage of my love for traveling and took this uncertainty as an opportunity to have my first post-university work experience abroad!
While this was an amazing opportunity to discover the South of Spain, make new friends, and go out of my comfort zone, I soon realized that escaping is not the solution if the doubts are still there.
So, at the end of my amazing Spanish experience, I went back to my city in Italy as I felt the time to further explore these uncertainties.
And, let me tell you, listening to myself was the best decision I could take since it would lead me to discover so much I didn’t know about myself and to realize that knowing ourselves, our strengths and weaknesses is what makes us confident in life’s every day but also most important decisions!
Friendly reminder: listen to yourself!
I think that getting to know ourselves is a never-ending process, but it is important to start it right away when you start feeling rather blocked because this will help you understand how you can unblock yourself. I am proud to share with you some of my learnings in my own process and tips I would give you based on them:
- Find time for your passions or activities that motivate you in your everyday life: they could land you into your next study or job opportunity! This is actually a real story: my story! I have always thought that in my ideal job, I would do what I am passionate about, and this was my end goal. But it can be hard, especially at the beginning, for this to be a match. Nonetheless, my advice for you is: pay attention to the activities you really enjoy. I recently realized that I was missing having time for writing – an activity that I really enjoy. In the meantime, I got to know the inspiring DreamanDo family, and by reading their blog, I immediately realized writing for them would be something that would be very aligned with my values and passions! Not only did this lead me to meeting an amazing team and having the opportunity to do something I really enjoy, but I also had the opportunity to place this in my CV and LinkedIn profile and, some months after, I had a successful interview that landed me to a job I had applied for, aligned with my interests.
- Make your inner child happy! I recently thought about this because, as they say, children are authentic and honest. But when we are grown-ups, unfortunately, in many environments, we are obliged to wear a mask to fit in certain environments, including at work. But not all work environments are the same, and what might feel like a “natural fit” for me might not be the same for you. I think this is an important point to take into consideration because work, as well as academic environments, are not only made up of desks and books but also of your future colleagues. Therefore, my advice for you is, in the moment of the search for your next step, pay attention to the people that will interview you or that you will be in touch with from the start and, why not, delve into some research on the potential study or working places: this will enable you to have a more concrete idea of where you could end up and don’t forget to listen to your gut feeling as well!
- Do you feel like it’s time to uncharge the “routine plug”? Then why not uncharge it? Have you ever felt this urge to escape for some time? Sometimes, feeling overwhelmed can also be a sign that we actually need some kind of change from our everyday life. But this must not necessarily be a trip abroad, it could also be the smallest of changes, like trying a new coffee place in town or meeting new friends. This is something that I really felt in my transition and job search moment as–as I anticipated–I do not like waiting that much. So I tried to include some new and fun activities in my daily routine, such as board game nights with friends or weekend trips, and this actually helped me to feel less “stuck in the moment” by shifting the focus from waiting to the new, daily discoveries.
- If it can make you feel better, have a plan B! In my biggest moments of transition until now, I have often kept a plan B in case my plan A would not go through. If you are thinking of implementing a plan B, I would recommend you choose an exciting one so that, when you imagine the worst scenario, you will not be too disappointed. For example, at the end of my Bachelor’s, I applied to two Masters but, not being sure that I would get in, I kept a gap year abroad as a plan B, as I love traveling and I think that it is never a waste of time if you make the most of it!
- Do not fear to “confess your fears”! Something I really learned in this period of my life was that you are not stronger if you do it all by yourself, sometimes, you really need to open up with other people, especially when you are facing a lot of indecisiveness. These could be professionals, as psychologists or coaches, or also friends or family even, depending on what your needs are and who could help you and support you the most. At first, you might feel rather lonely in these transition moments, but you will soon realize that many more people than you would have thought – also friends of yours – are passing through the same! Perhaps they just haven’t opened up yet…
In conclusion
As you will have seen, there is not one only way to focus on your uncertainties and, hopefully, clear them all! I think this is actually the fun part, as you can experiment and get to know yourself and what makes you feel as authentic as possible.
The fact is, as humans, we are complex: sudden changes make us nervous, but sometimes, we also need changes in our routine! So don’t be afraid to try new activities or go out of your comfort zone. Transition periods are not easy, but they are periods in which we learn to focus on life’s simplest pleasures.
