University is a time of great excitement, exploration, and challenge. For many students, it marks a period of growth and self-discovery. However, for those of us with undiagnosed ADHD, saying that university is an especially tumultuous experience feels like the understatement of the century. Life isn’t fair, and it feels extra unfair to those of us who struggle with neuro-divergence-based issues.
So let me tell you, in my chaotic way, about my dumpster fire of a journey and the little tricks I learned along the way to manage my university life.
To Give Some Context on ADHD
To start with some information on ADHD itself, when I say the word ADHD adult, what’s the stereotype that comes to your mind? An adult version of a hyperactive toddler with a sugar rush? Well, well, well. You’re not wrong about what it can look like from the outside looking in. People with ADHD struggle with a lot of things; unfortunately, they’re mostly internal. There are a few types of ways ADHD manifests, the most common being the hyperactive kind.
While boys (and men) seem to have a relatively easier time getting a clinical diagnosis, it’s not the case with women. According to Mowlem et al., 2013’s research on sex differences in predicting ADHD in diagnosis and treatment, on average, women with ADHD (like me) get missed out more often.
Okay, so one thing to remember here is that this research was in Sweden on the Swedish population, a relatively advanced country in terms of mental health compared to where I came from and grew up. (Psst, it’s India, by the way.) So take all this info with a grain of salt.
Anyway, back on topic, according to this paper, women seem to show greater inattention symptoms and yet get a clinical diagnosis much less often than males, which is consistent with previous studies. This indicates a higher threshold of symptoms for women to get a referral or a diagnosis (yay, medical misogyny). Women are also less likely to get prescribed medication if they don’t outwardly show behavioral problems (yay, more medical misogyny).
All this to say, women are in general less likely to get diagnosed, and the average age for women to get diagnosed is in their late 30s!!!!!
My Personal Struggle
Here’s my story and some advice on how to manage daily life if you find yourself in a similar situation. It applies not just to neurodivergent people but also to all you neurotypicals that find it hard to cope sometimes. To be fair, it’s only been a few months since I was told I’m neurodivergent.
Looking back now, the signs were always there. I was constantly late to classes, struggled to focus during lectures, and procrastinated on assignments until the last possible moment. I even skipped classes at times because I was so overwhelmed with everything. My room was a mess of scattered notes, half-read textbooks, laundry, dishes, leftovers going bad, half-done assignments, and a mountain of work to do. No amount of to-do lists, motivational quotes, or angry professors could help. Social interactions would sometimes get extremely overwhelming, and I would often self-isolate to self-soothe. Everything felt too much but not enough at the same time. I felt guilty for living in a mess and wasting my parents’ money by underachieving in uni despite putting in considerable effort. These challenges, compounded by the stress of university life, made for a less-than-ideal academic experience.
Talking to friends, I realized some parts of it were the universal experience of new uni students. However, what I didn’t realize is that my experience was much harsher, and everyone else learned to cope, while I, on the other hand, felt like I didn’t.
The Turning Point
My younger sister is a psychology student. She used to joke about me being a textbook case of ADHD. Ha-ha-ha, it was hilarious (little did we know at the time). But at the same time, my unpaid intern therapist took her job seriously; she told me about techniques that I could use. Some people try to manage their ADHD without medication. No one is stopping everyone else from using them too.
For the longest time, I fully believed I was a neurotypical with chronic lateness and thus used ADHD time management techniques to diminish symptoms that affected my daily life.
So now that my stage is set, I went through all of university without knowing I had ADHD. I struggled a lot, and I always thought it was normal to struggle as much as I did. Now, please applaud me, because I, the woman who is medicated now (remember what I said about the diagnosis and medication thresholds), still managed to get 6 whole degrees!! While living abroad and having part-time jobs, mind you. (And not to toot my own horn, I did two of those degrees simultaneously.)
My Secret-Not-So-Secret Tricks
Have you ever felt overwhelmed? Stressed? Anxious? Disoriented? Exhausted? Or just plain burnt out?
I know I did.
These tricks made life sooo much easier. So here are my few tips to make your uni life easier to deal with, whether you’re a new uni student who feels overwhelmed, part of the undiagnosed, or part of the diagnosed:
- Create a Structured Routine: Structure is your best friend, or get a best friend who loves structure. Develop a daily routine that includes specific times for waking up, meals, study sessions, and leisure activities. For ADHD people, it’s called body doubling. For normal people, it’s called shame 😛 In any case, consistency helps in managing time more effectively and reduces the stress of unpredictability.
- Break Large Tasks: Large tasks can be overwhelming. Break their spirits, break them down into smaller, more manageable pieces. Honestly, this one doesn’t work too much for me; I use the Band-Aid method. I try to rip off the band-aid of these big tasks right after my second coffee in the morning when I’m feeling my most motivated. But you, do you.
- Use Tools and Technology: Use whichever tools, like to-do lists and calendars, to keep track of deadlines and milestones that work for you. For example, Google Calendar is my best friend. I set all my deadlines, meetings, and doctor’s appointments (even dates) on there. It helps keep track of what I need to do.
- Find Your Optimal Study Environment: Identify the environment where you work best. Some people need complete silence, while others may benefit from background noise or music. Experiment with different settings to find what helps you concentrate. I, for one, love working around people, so libraries are my favorite place to work in.
- Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or professionals. All universities take mental health seriously nowadays; most even provide counseling services! They can provide valuable coping strategies, while other universities provide support groups that can offer a sense of community and understanding. Remember, you are not the only scrunched-up ball of stress and anxiety on campus, meaning you are not alone.
- Practice Self-Care: Taking care of your mental and physical health is crucial. I don’t mean to sound like your mother, but eat your veggies, exercise, play a sport, and try to get enough of that beauty sleep! It can significantly impact your ability to focus and manage life in general. Incorporate mindfulness practices such as meditation or yoga to reduce stress too.
- Advocate for Yourself: Communicate your needs to professors. Everyone is human; some profs understand the struggle of being a uni student, and some don’t. Many profs even offer accommodations, such as extended deadlines or methods to manage the workload. Advocating for yourself and telling people about your struggles ensures you get the support you need to succeed.
Looking Ahead and Takeaways from My Struggle
While university is challenging, it teaches you resilience and adaptability. I’ve spent my uni life developing strategies that play to my strengths and help me navigate daily life more effectively. Post-diagnosis, I’m learning to embrace my unique way of thinking and working.
For anyone navigating university, just know that your struggles are valid. Seek diagnosis if you need it, and even if you aren’t neurodivergent, remember that everyone struggles with uni in the beginning. These strategies and support systems are available to everyone to help you thrive.
And most importantly, celebrate small victories and try not to feel guilty or defeated about little losses. (By all means, cry for the big losses; I do that over little things regularly. Who am I to judge?)